Every leader and potential leader needs to avoid incongruent words and actions in order to maintain credibility.
FAQ:
I have had many questions asked about losing credibility. The situations are different, but the advice is similar. Here is an example.
“After delivering a presentation for senior executives, my manager pulled me aside and told me that I had lost credibility as a leader. I had practiced and prepared for weeks to deliver my conclusions about this new IT security project I am leading. It’s a very complex global project with 30 people working on different aspects of the project. The feedback from my manger was that I came across as unprepared when my conclusions were questioned, some of the words I used gave the impression that I wasn’t confident and it appeared as if I was “winging it”. How did those little things undermine my credibility? I am so knowledgeable and am seen as an IT security expert. Help me to understand what I did wrong?”
My Advice:
Credibility is based on both words and actions. If these two areas are incongruent, your credibility will suffer. In this situation, it appears as if your words and actions were inconsistent. While you are a very likely a knowledgeable subject matter expert who achieves significant results, your style of communication gave the impression that you aren’t credible.
While you may think these are “little things” compared to your knowledge and expertise, your words are giving the perception that you lack confidence. James Kouzes, author of Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It, says, “Credibility is the foundation of leadership. If people don’t believe in the messenger, they won’t believe the message. In business, if you lack credibility, you may never be able to get a team to follow you and will probably never advance to a position of authority.”
Words and Actions that damage your credibility
Your Words
The words you choose could hurt your credibility without your even knowing. Deborah Tannen, author of “Talking From 9 To 5: Women and Men at Work” describes which words undermine your credibility.
Reduce Use of Hedge Words – “sort of,” “kind of,” “pretty much,” and “maybe”
Hedge words and phrases such as sort of, kind of, pretty much and maybe are often used instead of saying something outright. Rather than saying, “I’m certain,” for example, a hedge expression is, “I’m pretty certain.”
Tannen says people use hedge words because they don’t want to appear as too authoritative and too direct. Using hedge words can damage your credibility, make you seem unsure about what you’re saying and exhibits your self-doubt.
Stop Using “Just” Which Lessens Meaning of Request
Adding just into a sentence—”I just want to say “, “I just wanted to check in…”, “ I am just following up”—minimizes the importance of what you have to say. An article by Ellen Leanse, a former Google employee, identifies it as a “permission word – a warm-up to a request, an apology for interrupting, a shy knock on the door before asking for something.”
According to Leanse, using “just” is a subtle message of subordination, of deference. Sometimes it is self-effacing. Sometimes even duplicitous. I recommend eliminating this word from a phrase and almost always the message will be clear and strengthened..
Minimize “Filler” Words – “like,” “um,” “er,” and “ah”
Most of us fill our sentences with filler words such as um and er. “When we’re thinking and organizing our thoughts, we feel that we should fill the space with something,” says Tannen. “We all have an impulse to fill in gaps when we’re speaking, Tannen says, but using too many of these ums and ers can make it seem like you’re trying too hard to find the words to explain your point, and give the impression that you lack confidence in what you’re saying.”
A technique that helps is to pause for a moment and gather your thoughts. It will make you sound more authoritative than a string of filler words.
Your actions
Eliminate nervous gestures
When we are nervous or stressed, we all use some form of comforting behavior: We may rub our hands together, click a pen, pull at jewelry, twirl our hair, or fidget. When we do any of these things, we immediately remove credibility from the discussion.
If you find yourself doing any of these behaviors, take a deep breath and balance yourself by placing your feet firmly on the floor and your hands palm down in your lap, on the desk or on the conference table. Stillness sends a message that you’re calm, confident and competent.
Stand tall and use space
Power, position, and confidence are nonverbally displayed through the use of height and space. It doesn’t matter if you are 5’2” or 6’2, standing with your shoulders back and your head held high makes you look sure of yourself.
You will look more powerful and assured if you stand when others are seated. If you are able to move around in the room, the additional space you use adds to that impression. If you are sitting, you look more confident by placing both feet flat on the floor and expanding your arms away from your body. Spread your materials on the conference table to claim more territory.
Maintain eye contact
Even if you are an introvert, shy, or your cultural background prevents you from having extended eye contact, business people from the U.S., Europe, Australia (and many other parts of the world), will expect you to maintain eye contact 50-60% of the time. When you don’t make eye contact, people find it difficult to believe you and your credibility.
Here’s a very easy technique to improve eye contact: Whenever you meet a business colleague, look into his or her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.
No matter who you are or where you are within your organization, you must build credibility and steer clear of all that will destroy it. Consider this your number one priority throughout your career.
Please send us your questions about the challenges you’re facing at work that are preventing you from achieving your career objectives and aspirations. We will provide our professional perspectives on how to address these challenges.
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